A Pack of Big Red – When Grief Finds You in the Kitchen
I wasn’t looking for a memory.
I was just cleaning the kitchen when I spotted it, tucked behind the medicines in the “miscellaneous catch-all” cabinet — a package of Big Red gum. The kind he always kept in the drawer of his end table, the one he’d offer with a wink and a grin that made me feel like the only woman in the world.
I held it in my hand, and time froze.
Not because it was gum. But because he would never chew it again. He wasn’t coming home. Not now. Not ever.
And just like that, grief ambushed me again.
When Grief Sneaks In Through the Ordinary
People often think of grief as something reserved for anniversaries, birthdays, or holidays. But the truth? It often arrives when we least expect it—through a sound, a scent, a song… or a simple pack of cinnamon gum.
That morning, the ache was fresh again. No matter how much time had passed, the pain of losing my husband resurfaced like a tidal wave. In Christian grief counseling, we often talk about “grief bursts”—those unexpected waves of sorrow that hit without warning. They don’t mean you’re doing grief “wrong.” They mean you loved deeply.
The Empty Chair and the Full Heart
In that moment, I remembered how he’d always grab a piece of gum before we left the house. How he’d tuck a pack into the console of the van “just in case.” It was such a small part of our everyday life, but that little red pack felt like a symbol of everything I’d lost.
When you’re coping with grief, it’s rarely the grand gestures that undo you. It’s the absence woven into the mundane. It’s realizing the person you love won’t be reaching for their favorite gum, laughing at the same joke, or walking through the door ever again.
Grief and Loss Support for Widows: A Journey, Not a Timeline
As a widow, you quickly learn that grief doesn’t follow a schedule. One moment you feel steady, and the next you’re crumpled over a grocery store cart because you saw his brand of shaving cream.
That’s why grief and loss support for widows is so vital. We need each other. We need spaces where we can speak the names of our loved ones and admit, without shame, that a piece of gum can unravel us. That healing is not forgetting. That moving forward doesn’t mean moving on.
Faith That Holds in the Ache
In my grief journey, faith has been my lifeline. As a Christian, I believe that he is with the Lord—and yet, my heart still misses him with an ache words can’t fully hold.
Christian grief counseling reminds us that sorrow and hope can coexist. That Jesus wept at death, even knowing resurrection was coming. That God collects every tear and meets us in the moments when we’re staring at a kitchen counter, undone by a pack of gum.
You’re Not Alone
If you’re in this place—standing in your kitchen, heart broken by something small—know this:
You’re not crazy. You’re grieving.
You are seen. You are loved.
And you don’t have to walk this path alone.
Whether it’s through grief support groups, Christian grief counseling, or a trusted friend who simply listens without trying to fix it, please reach out. This journey is heavy, but we are stronger when we carry it together.
And maybe, just maybe, even a pack of Big Red can become holy ground—where sorrow is honored, memories are sacred, and love never ends.
With grace for the journey,
Susan
