FINDING JOY IN THE MOURNING: CELEBRATING MARDI GRAS WHILE GRIEVING

Mardi Gras — or Fat Tuesday—  is a time of vibrant colors, joyous parades, and community celebration. It’s a season known for feasting, music, and revelry before the reflective period of Lent. But what happens when your heart is heavy with grief? How do you embrace a holiday centered on joy when loss has dimmed your world?

This year, as the beads are worn and sometimes thrown and the music plays, you might find yourself in the tension of celebration and sorrow. Grief does not wait for the calendar to clear. It doesn’t pause for festivals or holidays. It moves in, uninvited, and lingers — especially in the moments when life moves on without the one you love.

The Contrast of Celebration and Sorrow

Mardi Gras has long been associated with the idea of letting go, living fully, and embracing joy. But for those in grief, joy can feel like a foreign concept, or worse, a betrayal. If you’ve ever felt guilty for smiling or laughing amid loss, you’re not alone. The world keeps spinning, the music keeps playing, and yet your heart feels stuck in the silence of missing someone.

But maybe, just maybe, Mardi Gras offers something deeper than surface-level celebration. Perhaps it’s an invitation — not to ignore grief, but to embrace the complexity of both sorrow and joy.

Honoring the One Who’s Gone

Rather than resisting the festivities, what if we allowed ourselves to see them through a different lens? Mardi Gras, at its core, is about life — about remembering that even in hardship, we are still here, still breathing, still capable of finding beauty.

Below are a few ways to honor a loved one while participating in Mardi Gras, even in the depths of grief:

• Wear their favorite color – Whether it’s purple for justice, green for faith, or gold for power, choose a color that reminds you of them.
• Light a candle before heading out – A simple moment of reflection can help ground you in love and memory.
• Play a song they loved – Whether it’s a jazz classic or a gospel hymn, let music become a bridge between celebration and remembrance.
• Find comfort in the community – Mardi Gras is about togetherness. If you feel up to it, lean on family and friends who remind you that you’re not alone in your grief.

Giving Yourself Permission

Grief is unpredictable. Some moments might allow for laughter and dancing, while others might pull you back into sorrow. Both are okay. Both are part of this journey.

If all you can manage is a quiet moment of reflection while others celebrate, that is enough. If you find yourself smiling at the sight of a parade, let that be okay too. There is no right or wrong way to grieve, just as there is no right or wrong way to celebrate.

Mardi Gras reminds us that life is fleeting, but it is also resilient. Even in the wake of loss, love remains. And perhaps, in the swirl of purple, green, and gold, in the laughter of friends and the rhythm of a brass band, we can find glimpses of the joy our loved one would want for us.

From Ashes to Hope

The day after Mardi Gras, Ash Wednesday arrives, marking the beginning of Lent—a season of reflection, surrender, and ultimately, hope. It is a reminder that from dust we came, and to dust we shall return. But it is also a reminder that even in mourning, we are never alone. God walks with us through every tear, every memory, every small step forward.

So this Mardi Gras, whether you celebrate outwardly or simply in your heart, may you find comfort in knowing that grief and joy can coexist. May you remember that your love for the one you lost is not diminished by your laughter—it is honored by your living.

And may you hold on to the promise that even in the darkest nights, light still shines. 💜💚💛