Finding Balance in the Valleys of Life
Happiness is balance in all of life!

This balance is especially true when we go through the valleys. Grief has a way of making us yearn for the “old me,” the person we were before our world was turned upside down. In our quest to find that version of ourselves, we risk missing the happiness that exists right here and now. The truth is, we won’t find the old me. Just as our loved ones changed our lives when they came into them, they have also changed our lives in their leaving.
The Futility of Chasing the Past
Trying to recapture the “old me” often feels like chasing the wind. Life, and the experiences that shape it, move us forward. The person we were before our loss no longer exists, and that’s okay. Loss reshapes us, just as love did when it entered our lives. Instead of focusing on reclaiming a past self, we can turn our attention to intentionally taking baby steps toward a new sense of happiness and contentment.
The Power of Small Moments
Happiness isn’t found in monumental shifts or grand gestures. It’s in the little moments, the tiny fragments of joy that we often overlook. These small moments may seem insignificant, but they are stepping stones on the path to a fuller life.
It might be a rainy night spent curled under a blanket with a good book. It could be licking cookie dough or cake frosting off the mixer blades as you bake something special. Or it might be sitting in quiet companionship with others who are walking the same grief journey as you. These moments of solace and connection, however fleeting, are reminders that joy is still possible, even in the midst of sorrow.
It’s important to stop waiting for the grand, all-encompassing happiness you felt before your loss. That happiness was tied to a specific time, place, and person. Instead, focus on the small, intentional steps that bring a new kind of contentment.
- Acknowledge the Little Wins: Celebrate the simple acts of self-care, like getting out of bed or taking a walk.
- Seek Comfort in Rituals: Establish routines that bring you peace, whether it’s a morning cup of tea or a weekly call with a friend.
- Embrace the Present: Look for joy in the here and now, even if it’s just a fleeting moment of laughter or a quiet sense of calm.
Finding Balance
Balance in life doesn’t mean an absence of sorrow. It means learning to carry both joy and grief, to honor the love you’ve lost while also making room for new experiences. It’s about giving yourself permission to feel happiness without guilt, knowing that joy doesn’t diminish your love for the person you’ve lost. They want us to find balance, to live fully and embrace the beauty that remains.
Final Thoughts
Happiness is a journey, not a destination. It’s built on small moments and intentional steps, especially in the valleys of life. Stop searching for the person you were before your loss and start embracing the person you’re becoming. Happiness may look different now, but it’s still within reach. Let the little moments guide you, one baby step at a time, toward a life filled with balance, contentment, and even joy.
I am a school counselor turned counselor educator, professor, and author helping educators and parents to build social, emotional, and academic growth in ALL kids! The school counseling blog delivers both advocacy as well as strategies to help you deliver your best school counseling program.

I'm a mother, grandmother, professor, author, and wife (I'll always be his). Until October 20, 2020, I lived with my husband, Robert (Bob) Rose, in Louisville, Ky. On that awful day of October 20,2020, my life profoundly changed, when this amazing man went on to Heaven. After Bob moved to Heaven, I embraced my love of writing as an outlet for grief. Hence, the Grief Blog is my attempt to share what I learned as a Counselor in education with what I am learning through this experience of walking this earth without him. My mission is to help those in grief move forward to see joy beyond this most painful time.