Love and Healing
Honoring Memories Through Growth
These words echo the depth of love I will always feel for Bob and those I’ve lost. The love remains even as I work toward healing, and it’s this balance of love and healing that I’ve been reflecting on deeply.
The Myth About Grief and Healing
A pervasive myth surrounds grief: the idea that if you begin to heal, you must be forgetting. Those of us walking through the journey of grief know how harmful and untrue this belief is. Healing is not forgetting. It is the exact opposite. Healing honors the memory of those we love by allowing their legacy to inspire us to live fully, even in their absence.
I will forever love Bob, but that doesn’t mean I want to sit in pain to prove it to the world. Pain is not the measure of love. Love is enduring and transformative, and it exists alongside healing.
Working Toward Happiness
Bob and I talked about what he wanted for me and the family if the unimaginable were to happen. He wanted us to be happy. He didn’t want our lives to be overshadowed by endless sorrow. In fact, he left specific instructions to help us work toward happiness again. Following his wishes and working toward joy is one of the most profound ways I can honor his memory.
Healing doesn’t mean the absence of grief. Grief, I’ve learned, is not a problem to be solved but a journey to navigate. Some days, the waves are calm; other days, they crash relentlessly. But each step forward is a testament to the love I carry. I’m learning to grow through grief, letting it shape me into someone who can hold both sorrow and joy in the same space.
The love we shared is not confined to the past. It lives on in the way I cherish memories, in the stories I share, and in the way I strive to live a life that honors his legacy. Love doesn’t disappear when someone is gone from this earthly world. It evolves, weaving itself into every aspect of who we are.
Final Thoughts
Healing is not a betrayal of love; it is a tribute to it. By working toward happiness, I am fulfilling Bob’s wishes and honoring the profound bond we shared. Love and healing are not at odds with one another—they are intertwined, each strengthening the other.
To those navigating grief, remember: healing is not forgetting. It’s carrying the love forward, allowing it to guide you as you rebuild and grow. Love, after all, is eternal. And through healing, we honor it in the most meaningful way possible.
I am a school counselor turned counselor educator, professor, and author helping educators and parents to build social, emotional, and academic growth in ALL kids! The school counseling blog delivers both advocacy as well as strategies to help you deliver your best school counseling program.
I'm a mother, grandmother, professor, author, and wife (I'll always be his). Until October 20, 2020, I lived with my husband, Robert (Bob) Rose, in Louisville, Ky. On that awful day of October 20,2020, my life profoundly changed, when this amazing man went on to Heaven. After Bob moved to Heaven, I embraced my love of writing as an outlet for grief. Hence, the Grief Blog is my attempt to share what I learned as a Counselor in education with what I am learning through this experience of walking this earth without him. My mission is to help those in grief move forward to see joy beyond this most painful time.
