Fall/Winter 2019
Our Last Thanksgiving and Christmas
The August follow-up appointments went pretty well. The medication was maintaining the fluid retention so you weren't holding water any more and your health was maintaining as well as could be expected with the diagnosis of Sarcoidosis. We still couldn't see how really sick you were.
Looking back, you were on more than a handful of medications and had at least eight doctors (listed in order as to how your body was affected):
- Primary Care
- Infectious Disease
- Dermatologist (Skin)
- Ophthalmologist (Eyes)
- Cardiologist (Heart)
- Pulmonologist (Lungs)
- Gastroenterologist (Digestive System)
- Nephrologist (Kidneys)
We should have been more aware. Yet, you were always so positive in life, and I just couldn't face living this life without you. So, I think we both were willfully in denial during this time.
At the beginning of November, you began to notice a softball size lump in your lower right hip. It was causing quite a bit of pain, especially when you sat. So, we went back to Dr. Sharpe, the wound care specialist that had done so many of the HS removal surgeries last year, the Monday of Thanksgiving week. He sent you immediately to the hospital for preparation with antibiotics and operated the next day. Wednesday was a rest day from surgery, then you had another operation Thanksgiving morning.
I will forever be grateful to our children for bringing Thanksgiving to your hospital room as this was the last Thanksgiving we had as a family. David went to the grocery and bought everything, then took it to Tony and Laurens for them to work together to prepare it. Lauren brought their folding table that seats eight and all the food, complete with decorative plates, cups and tablecloth. We had a wonderful Thanksgiving in your room. You didn't let on that you were still tired from the surgery or in any pain, even though I knew you were. You made that last Thanksgiving special just by being the generous, loving, wonderful person you are.
We were released the Sunday following Thanksgiving, complete with a wound vac as the excised region was quite extensive. The wound vac nurse came twice a week to change the dressing, and I did the others days. You were as patient as you could be with me. We joked that I was getting all these nursing clinical hours, but lacked the formal education to actually be able to count them.
Christmas was difficult for you, because you weren't healed well enough to host the work parties. That frustrated you. I think you knew that this was going to be your last Christmas, but knew that I couldn't handle it. I will forever be in awe at how you stared death in the face with such strength and grace.
Still, the children spent December 22nd at our house as was our Chistmas Eve tradition and celebrated Christmas with Papa and Gogo on December 23rd. You were your jovial self and gave us a wonderful last Christmas. I love you!!!
I am a school counselor turned counselor educator, professor, and author helping educators and parents to build social, emotional, and academic growth in ALL kids! The school counseling blog delivers both advocacy as well as strategies to help you deliver your best school counseling program.
I'm a mother, grandmother, professor, author, and wife (I'll always be his). Until October 20, 2020, I lived with my husband, Robert (Bob) Rose, in Louisville, Ky. On that awful day of October 20,2020, my life profoundly changed, when this amazing man went on to Heaven. After Bob moved to Heaven, I embraced my love of writing as an outlet for grief. Hence, the Grief Blog is my attempt to share what I learned as a Counselor in education with what I am learning through this experience of walking this earth without him. My mission is to help those in grief move forward to see joy beyond this most painful time.
