Susan Rardon
Rose, Ph.D.
The start of a new year is a moment that often brings hope, anticipation, and the promise of new beginnings. But for those of us who have lost someone dear, it can also serve as a harsh reminder of their absence. As I step into yet another year without my amazing husband—the love of my life, our children’s father, and our grandchildren’s beloved Papa—I find myself reflecting on the journey that has brought me to this point.
I remember how I felt as 2020 ended and the clock ticked toward 2021. The thought of entering a year that he would never be a part of felt unbearable. How could I celebrate the arrival of something he wouldn’t live to see? In those moments, the concept of time itself seemed cruel, a relentless force moving forward without him.
That first New Year’s Eve without him was quiet, somber, and filled with tears. I didn’t feel ready to say goodbye to a year that still held his presence, even in its final days. But time, as it always does, marched on, and I had no choice but to follow.
As I prepare to enter another year without him, I’ve learned that grief changes shape but never truly fades. The pain of his absence has become a part of me, woven into the fabric of who I am. Each new year brings a mix of emotions—a sense of resilience for having made it this far and a renewed ache for all the moments he’ll never share with us.
But I’ve also discovered ways to honor him as I move forward. Rather than viewing the new year as a chapter without him, I try to see it as an extension of the love and memories we shared. His influence continues to guide me, shaping my decisions and inspiring the ways I support our family.
As the calendar turns, I find solace in keeping his spirit alive through the traditions and values he held dear.
The transition into a new year is not without its challenges. Certain milestones, anniversaries, and memories bring waves of grief that can feel overwhelming. I’ve learned to give myself grace in those moments, recognizing that it’s okay to feel both sadness and hope.
For our children and grandchildren, the beginning of a new year can be confusing. How do you reconcile moving forward with holding on to the past? I remind them, and myself, that love transcends time. While he may not be physically with us, his presence is felt in our laughter, our tears, and the ways we care for one another.
Faith has been a cornerstone of my journey through grief. The promise of eternal life and the hope of being reunited with him one day bring comfort in my darkest moments. Each new year is an opportunity to deepen my faith and trust in the path God has laid before me.
As I face another year without him, I choose to focus on the love that remains. He may not be here to celebrate birthdays, milestones, or ordinary days, but his influence is woven into the fabric of our lives. His laughter, wisdom, and kindness live on in our hearts, shaping the way we move forward.
To anyone beginning a new year without someone they love, know that you are not alone. It’s okay to grieve, to feel reluctant, and to take your time finding your footing. The pain of loss may never fully leave, but neither does the love. And it is that love that carries us into each new year, giving us the strength to honor their memory while embracing the life still ahead.
As this new year begins, I carry him with me, not just as a memory but as a guiding light. And with every step forward, I hold onto the hope that one day, we will meet again.
I am a school counselor turned counselor educator, professor, and author helping educators and parents to build social, emotional, and academic growth in ALL kids! The school counseling blog delivers both advocacy as well as strategies to help you deliver your best school counseling program.
I'm a mother, grandmother, professor, author, and wife (I'll always be his). Until October 20, 2020, I lived with my husband, Robert (Bob) Rose, in Louisville, Ky. On that awful day of October 20,2020, my life profoundly changed, when this amazing man went on to Heaven. After Bob moved to Heaven, I embraced my love of writing as an outlet for grief. Hence, the Grief Blog is my attempt to share what I learned as a Counselor in education with what I am learning through this experience of walking this earth without him. My mission is to help those in grief move forward to see joy beyond this most painful time.
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