Love Beyond Loss

Love is when two hearts stop beating but two people die. These words resonate deeply as I reflect on my marriage vows:

     "I, Susan, take you, Bob, to be my husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in

      health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part, according to God's holy law, in the presence of God I make this vow."

When we pledged those words, we became one. That’s what it felt like then, and it’s what it feels like now. Bob wasn’t just a part of my life; he was a part of me. He made me a better person, shaped who I am, and now that he’s gone, I feel like a part of me died with him.

Finding Myself Without Him

Since Bob moved to Heaven, I’ve been learning to navigate life without him here on earth. But I don’t truly feel like I’m without him. I still carry his love with me, and I know that love will remain until the day I see him again. Yet, everything feels so different now.

When I’m out, especially with other couples, I often feel the need to explain where he is. It’s as if I need to justify my presence as a half of what was once a whole. I trust that I’ll eventually reach a point where I’m comfortable just being me. But at 4 1/4 years, I’m not quite there yet. Still, I say “yet” because I’m hopeful that I’ll get there.

The Eternal Bond

The two shall become one. That’s the mystery and beauty of marriage. Bob’s presence in my life was more than companionship; it was a deep and abiding partnership that fundamentally shaped me. While his physical presence is no longer here, the bond we share transcends time and space. Love doesn’t end with death. It evolves, weaving itself into the fabric of who we are.

Part of my healing journey has been acknowledging the permanence of our love while also allowing myself to grow in his absence. This is not a betrayal of our bond; it’s an extension of it. Bob wanted me to live a full and happy life. I know this because we talked about it. We discussed how he wanted our family to move forward and find joy, even in his absence.

Honoring his wishes has been both challenging and comforting. It’s a reminder that love seeks the best for the other — even when it means letting go of what once was.

Each day, I strive to embrace the person I’ve become because of Bob’s love and influence. When others see me, I hope they see the reflection of the love that continues to shape my life. It’s a love that doesn’t demand explanations or justifications — just the courage to keep moving forward.

Final Thoughts

Love is eternal. It’s not confined to vows or time or even life itself. The love I shared with Bob remains a part of me, guiding me through each day as I navigate this new chapter. I will love him as long as the sun burns in the sky, as long as the moon lights the dark night, and until I see him again. And in the meantime, I’ll continue to grow, to live, and to honor the incredible bond we shared.