Carrying Love Forward

We don’t expect people to “move on” when something wonderful happens, so it baffles me that we expect them to move on when something terrible happens. When Bob came into my life, no one ever said, “You’re celebrating another anniversary. You need to get over that. You need to move on.” Similarly, when we sent out invitations to our children’s birthday parties, no one responded, “Another birthday! You need to move on.” Yet, when grief enters the picture, there seems to be an unspoken societal timeline, as though love and loss have an expiration date.

Life does go on, and we move forward, but moving on implies leaving something behind—as if grief were a mistake we learn from and then discard. Loving Bob was not a mistake. It was the greatest blessing of my life, and I’d choose him every time. My love for him didn’t vanish when his address changed to Heaven. It’s as present now as it was when he was by my side. Love is eternal, and so is its impact on our lives.

The Fallacy of “Moving On”

The idea of “moving on” after a loss diminishes the depth of our connections. It suggests that relationships—those we treasure most—can be packed away like old clothes, as though their value diminishes over time. But love isn’t something we outgrow. Instead, it becomes a part of us. It shapes who we are, influences how we live, and continues to grow even in the absence of the person we lost.

When I think of Bob, I don’t dwell solely on his absence. I think of the joy, laughter, and shared experiences that enriched my life. I carry those memories with me, and they continue to guide and inspire me. Love isn’t bound by time or space. It transcends earthly limits, connecting us in ways that are both profound and unexplainable.

The Blessing of Eternal Love

Scripture reminds us of love’s permanence. In Romans 8:38-39, Paul writes: “For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”  This truth offers immense comfort. If God’s love for us is unchanging and eternal, so too is the love we share with others. Bob’s physical presence may be absent, but the bond we created remains intact, woven into the fabric of my life and my faith.

As I move forward, I do so with the knowledge that loving Bob was—and continues to be—one of the greatest joys of my life. I will never “move on” from that love, because it is not something to be left behind. Instead, I carry it with me, allowing it to shape my actions, decisions, and relationships.

Redefining Grief

Grief is not about letting go; it’s about holding on to what matters while finding a way to live fully in the present. It’s a process of integrating loss into life, of continuing to love and honor those we’ve lost while embracing the blessings that remain.

Final Thoughts

Love doesn’t end, and neither should the way we honor it. Moving forward means cherishing the love we’ve known and allowing it to guide us into the future. My love for Bob is not a chapter to close but a story that continues to unfold. And as I walk this journey, I do so with gratitude for the love that shaped me and the promise that it will one day reunite us in Heaven.