Susan Rardon
Rose, Ph.D.
As the holiday season unfolds, we find ourselves approaching our fifth Christmas without our patriarch—my amazing husband, our children’s devoted father, and our grandchildren’s cherished Papa. This season, once a time of unbridled joy and family traditions, has evolved into a bittersweet blend of love, remembrance, and resilience. Each year brings its own unique challenges, but it also offers opportunities for healing and growth.
Holidays are inherently steeped in tradition, and for our family, many of those traditions were led by him. Whether it was his laughter echoing through the house, his carefully chosen gifts, or the way he made each family member feel special, his presence was the heart of our celebrations. Last Christmas, his empty recliner was a stark reminder of our loss that I began sitting in it. It was as if I suddenly heard him tell that I carried a part of him with me, so it was fine to sit in "our" chair together. I couldn't sit in it prior to that. It was HIS chair. Yet, now it brings me comfort.
That is but one example of how grief is a companion that evolves. While the first Christmas felt like an insurmountable wave of sadness, subsequent years have taught us how to carry his memory with grace. (Well, actually Bob would probably disagree. We laughed often at how I seem to stumble and bumble through life. Mom got all the grace. But, we're trying.) This fifth Christmas, we feel his absence deeply, but we also cherish the indelible mark he left on our hearts.
Over the years, we’ve found ways to honor him during the holiday season, blending old traditions with new ones. Here are some ways we continue to celebrate his life and legacy:
The holiday season often stirs a whirlwind of emotions: joy, sadness, gratitude, and longing. It’s important to give ourselves and our family permission to feel all of it. Grief doesn’t follow a linear path, and there’s no right or wrong way to navigate the holidays without him.
For our grandchildren, who are still growing and learning to process their emotions, we’ve made space for their questions and feelings. They may not have the same depth of memories we do, but they know how much Papa loved them. We remind them of his legacy through photos, scrapbooks, stories, and by continuing the traditions he started with them.
Our faith has been an anchor through these years. The message of Christmas—hope, love, and the promise of eternal life—resonates even more deeply now. We find solace in knowing that his spirit lives on and that one day, we will see him again, hug him again, look into those beautiful eyes, and hear that laughter.
As a family, we’ve also learned the importance of leaning on one another. The holidays are a time to draw strength from our shared love and the bonds that continue to grow despite our loss. These shared experiences remind us that we are not alone in our grief.
This fifth Christmas is a milestone, a testament to our resilience as a family. While his absence will always be felt, his love remains a guiding light. He taught us how to cherish one another, find joy in the simple things, and approach life with a generous heart. These lessons are his gift to us, a gift we carry forward with every Christmas yet to come.
To anyone walking a similar path of grief this holiday season, know that it’s okay to feel the weight of your loss while also embracing moments of joy. Grief and celebration can coexist, and in honoring your loved one, you keep their spirit alive in the most meaningful way.
As we gather this year, we do so with hearts full of gratitude for the love he gave us and the memories that continue to sustain us. Merry Christmas to all who carry the bittersweet blend of loss and love. May we find peace, comfort, and a renewed sense of hope this holiday season.
I am a school counselor turned counselor educator, professor, and author helping educators and parents to build social, emotional, and academic growth in ALL kids! The school counseling blog delivers both advocacy as well as strategies to help you deliver your best school counseling program.
I'm a mother, grandmother, professor, author, and wife (I'll always be his). Until October 20, 2020, I lived with my husband, Robert (Bob) Rose, in Louisville, Ky. On that awful day of October 20,2020, my life profoundly changed, when this amazing man went on to Heaven. After Bob moved to Heaven, I embraced my love of writing as an outlet for grief. Hence, the Grief Blog is my attempt to share what I learned as a Counselor in education with what I am learning through this experience of walking this earth without him. My mission is to help those in grief move forward to see joy beyond this most painful time.
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