Susan Rardon
Rose, Ph.D.
Losing someone you can't live without is an experience that shatters your world. It's as if a part of you has been ripped away, leaving a gaping hole that nothing else can fill. The bad news, as Lamott so poignantly states, is that you never completely get over this loss. Your heart remains broken, and the pain of their absence is a constant companion.
However, there is a silver lining in this profound sorrow. The good news is that they live forever in your broken heart that doesn’t seal back up. Their memory, their love, and their influence remain with you, woven into the very fabric of your being. This eternal presence in your heart is a testament to the depth of your connection and the impact they had on your life.
Navigating through grief is a journey of survival and resilience. Despite the brokenness, you come through. It’s like that broken leg that never heals perfectly—that still hurts when the weather gets cold. The pain is a reminder of your loss, a scar that signifies the love that once was. But, even with this pain, you learn to move forward, to live, and to find moments of joy and purpose.
Learning to dance with a limp is a powerful metaphor for living with grief. It acknowledges that the pain never fully goes away; it becomes a part of you. Yet, it also emphasizes the possibility of finding grace, beauty, and movement despite the hurt. You adapt, you find new rhythms, and you continue to dance through life, honoring the memory of your loved one with every step.
Yet, the moments of joy you experience do not diminish the depth of your loss, nor do they betray the memory of your loved one. Instead, they are a testament to the resilience of the human spirit and the enduring nature of love. By allowing yourself to feel joy, you are not forgetting them; you are celebrating the life and love you shared.
Living with a broken heart means finding ways to honor the memory of your loved one. This might involve continuing traditions, engaging in activities they loved, or simply sharing their stories. By keeping their memory alive, you ensure that their legacy lives on through you.
In conclusion, Anne Lamott’s words remind us that while we may never fully heal from the loss of someone we can't live without, we can learn to dance with the limp. This dance is a tribute to the love we shared and a testament to our resilience. By embracing our broken hearts and finding new rhythms, we honor the memory of our loved ones and continue to live fully.
As we move forward, let us remember that our loved ones live on in our hearts, guiding us with their memory and love. And with every step we take, we continue the dance of life, carrying them with us in spirit and in love.
Love and peace to all who are navigating their own journeys of grief. May we find strength in our shared experiences and learn to dance gracefully, even with our broken hearts.
I am a school counselor turned counselor educator, professor, and author helping educators and parents to build social, emotional, and academic growth in ALL kids! The school counseling blog delivers both advocacy as well as strategies to help you deliver your best school counseling program.
I'm a mother, grandmother, professor, author, and wife (I'll always be his). Until October 20, 2020, I lived with my husband, Robert (Bob) Rose, in Louisville, Ky. On that awful day of October 20,2020, my life profoundly changed, when this amazing man went on to Heaven. After Bob moved to Heaven, I embraced my love of writing as an outlet for grief. Hence, the Grief Blog is my attempt to share what I learned as a Counselor in education with what I am learning through this experience of walking this earth without him. My mission is to help those in grief move forward to see joy beyond this most painful time.
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