Laying All at the Feet of God - Even Grief and Pain

Very early in my grief, not even a month after Bob moved to Heaven, someone from church said to me that we must not have had enough faith; that we must not have prayed hard enough. I was quite hurt by that, as I'm sure most of you would have been. I have walked with Christ since I was 8 years old and prayed fervently for Bob to be saved this side of Heaven. Not only that, it felt like we had a host of saints praying as well.

The Pain of Misunderstood Faith

Yet, I found healing as I read and poured through all those books. In her book Suffering is Never for Nothing, Elisabeth Elliott wrote, "If your faith rests in your idea of how God is supposed to answer your prayers, your idea of heaven here on earth or pie in the sky or whatever, then that kind of faith is shaky and is bound to be demolished when the storms of life hit it. But if your faith rests on the character of Him who is the eternal I AM, then that kind of faith is rugged and will endure."

Trusting in God's Will

Bob continued to remind me that his Angel told him that it was going to be alright. My response was always, "But does this mean this side of heaven?" He explained so patiently many times that we needed to trust in God; that we needed to pray for God's will, not our own. But, my human spirit railed against that. I didn't want to live without him. And, I know in his own heart that he wanted to see our children and grandchildren grow up. He wanted his earthly body to be healed as well, but was advanced enough in his walk to pray in God's will. I must admit that I was not.

A Journey of Healing and Acceptance

It has taken me many months of trudging through my days and doing the next thing to get past the anger of walking this earth without Bob. He was my leader in all things, but especially in spiritual things. Yet, I can say that today I have been able to lay that pain at Jesus' feet and rely on Him for comfort in those lonely times. My mother told us that she believes that Bob got to go early because he had accomplished everything he needed to spiritually. He had finished his race. And, I hold onto that. He did genuinely love others as God instructed and lived a life so full of integrity.

So, when we go through pain and suffering, we must remember to have the faith that rests on God's will, not our own. God answers every prayer! Sometimes it is as we want; sometimes it is as we need. We can't see the full picture as He can.

The Strength of a Rugged Faith

Through this journey, I have come to understand that true faith is not about expecting God to fulfill our desires, but about trusting His wisdom and timing. It is about believing in His goodness even when our hearts are breaking. The faith that endures is one that rests in the character of God, the eternal I AM, rather than in our limited understanding of how our prayers should be answered.

In my moments of deepest sorrow, I have learned to seek God's presence and comfort. It is in these quiet moments of prayer and reflection that I feel His peace. I have come to realize that Bob's early departure was part of God's greater plan, a plan that I may never fully understand in this lifetime. But I trust that God, in His infinite wisdom, knows what is best for us all.

As I continue to navigate life without Bob, I am committed to living out the lessons he taught me about faith, love, and integrity. I strive to trust in God's will, to find solace in His presence, and to believe that Bob's journey was complete in the eyes of our Creator. This faith, though tested by grief, remains a source of strength and hope.

Final Thoughts: Trusting God's Will

In conclusion, our journey through grief and suffering requires a faith that is anchored in God's character and His eternal plan. While we may not always understand His ways, we can trust that He is with us, guiding us through our darkest moments. By embracing this rugged faith, we honor the memory of our loved ones and find the strength to carry on.